I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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