I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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