Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
