I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
