Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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