You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
