idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
