hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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