Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
