covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
