She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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