Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
