the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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