someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
