why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize