Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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