He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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