Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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