is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant