Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
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i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
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Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.