Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  Can I come over?

  (786): View more from Florida

  Can't... I'm at class right now.

  (305): View more from Florida

  No your not

  (305): View more from Florida

  I'm outside by your car.

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  (305): Can I come over? (786): Can't... I'm at class right now. (305): No your not (305): I'm outside by your car. http://tfl.nu/le7d
  Replies (21) Good night (888) Bad night (2193)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked

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  (419): just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked http://tfl.nu/tqdc
  Replies (60) Good night (25040) Bad night (2025)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to

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  (951): I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to http://tfl.nu/92t1
  Replies (24) Good night (1257) Bad night (4923)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.

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  (920): He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me. http://tfl.nu/y4m9
  Replies (14) Good night (2197) Bad night (1511)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same

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  (630): we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same http://tfl.nu/ozek
  Replies (40) Good night (2478) Bad night (7011)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just found my coat check number in my underwear.

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  (203): I just found my coat check number in my underwear. http://tfl.nu/l4ok
  Replies (4) Good night (1901) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..

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  (480): Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona.. http://tfl.nu/wgkj
  Replies (5) Good night (2924) Bad night (1556)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.

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  (916): let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again. http://tfl.nu/i76s
  Replies (4) Good night (2339) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos

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  (518): Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos http://tfl.nu/5fyh
  Replies (2) Good night (2229) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (61): View more from Australia

  I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could

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  (61): I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could http://tfl.nu/jvk9
  Replies (3) Good night (917) Bad night (2592)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy

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  (440): I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy http://tfl.nu/cz6x
  Replies (12) Good night (592) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.

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  (801): I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck. http://tfl.nu/p42i
  Replies (2) Good night (998) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.

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  (717): So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel. http://tfl.nu/c4fx
  Replies (2) Good night (603) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Where else would I get life advice?

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  (704): Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right. (575): Where else would I get life advice? http://tfl.nu/mfwy
  Replies (0) Good night (539) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.

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  (864): Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers. http://tfl.nu/q1e4
  Replies (1) Good night (353) Bad night (124)

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