Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
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Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
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You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.