No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.