It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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