Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
