just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just pee around me
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
