Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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