you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
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he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
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I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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