two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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