I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
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I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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