An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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