I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
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I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
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im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door