Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
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He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
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He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?