in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize