Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
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So stoned i forgot i was in bed
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.