Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.

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(561): I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream. http://tfl.nu/f7mo

Replies (4) Good night (466) Bad night (2509)
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(702): View more from Nevada

was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars

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(702): was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars http://tfl.nu/nxps

Replies (35) Good night (1226) Bad night (4288)
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(810): View more from Michigan

I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.

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(810): I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans. http://tfl.nu/8mn2

Replies (13) Good night (4614) Bad night (724)
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(410): View more from Maryland

To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.

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(410): To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows. http://tfl.nu/3dnj

Replies (10) Good night (5625) Bad night (786)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.

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(763): My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries. http://tfl.nu/9ep5

Replies (8) Good night (4778) Bad night (1265)
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(607): View more from New York

please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already

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(607): please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already http://tfl.nu/5kxb

Replies (8) Good night (2890) Bad night (1466)
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(443): View more from Maryland

I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..

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(443): I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night.. http://tfl.nu/hua7

Replies (3) Good night (2068) Bad night (969)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?

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(609): did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes? http://tfl.nu/qlm2

Replies (22) Good night (5225) Bad night (1050)
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(661): View more from California

i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean

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(661): i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean http://tfl.nu/gpjf

Replies (14) Good night (4074) Bad night (964)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.

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(507): currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing. http://tfl.nu/nh19

Replies (9) Good night (1835) Bad night (677)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean

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(715): He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean http://tfl.nu/eek7

Replies (12) Good night (1934) Bad night (801)
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(512): View more from Texas

Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.

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(512): Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids. http://tfl.nu/hflo

Replies (20) Good night (4190) Bad night (1139)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?

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(937): Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower? http://tfl.nu/53j7

Replies (4) Good night (1552) Bad night (469)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.

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(970): I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious. http://tfl.nu/wv8w

Replies (6) Good night (569) Bad night (1420)
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(708): View more from Illinois

You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.

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(708): You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice. http://tfl.nu/p63x

Replies (2) Good night (570) Bad night (273)

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