I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.