Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
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I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
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Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud