OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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