There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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