and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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