"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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