I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
