the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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