There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
