I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
In America we eat man semen.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I came so hard my ears popped.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
