no, he came in my armpit
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
