Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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