Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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