My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
