I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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