just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
