You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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