Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
