This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Randomize
