hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
