shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
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I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
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When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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