I'm really into asian looking animals
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
