i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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