So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize