That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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