Tell her she can't have a vagina
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
