oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
