guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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