is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
