in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
