He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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