i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
