This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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