If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
