Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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