I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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