the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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