Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
