I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i think my mom watched the whole time
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
