Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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